File Under: My Kids Are Awesome

Bad Dudes

My girls are clever kids.  They’re smart.  They’ve got (according to their father and I) great senses of humor.

And they watch a lot more movies than I did when I was their ages.  After all, I didn’t have the advantage of a VCR or DVD player, and I was at the mercy of The Wonderful World of Disney and, later in life, HBO.

They love quoting movies, and whatever their new favorite movie is will influence what sorts of conversations we have.  Right now, that movie is Megamind.  So I frequently have conversations with them where they are acting out scenes of the movie, or giving me lines from certain characters.

This can be funny, to an extent.  But when I start feeling like they haven’t had an original thought in weeks, I want to put my foot down.  So I did.

“For pity’s sake! TALK TO ME AS YOU, NOT SOME MOVIE CHARACTER!!” I yelled.  ”I am tired of talking to you and getting a movie line in return!”

“But,” whined my 12 year old, “those are so funny!”

“Yeah!” chimes in the 9 year old. “It’s like all the really good stuff has already been said in a movie!”

I did not tell them how hysterical I find that idea.  False, but hysterical nonetheless.

(Note to my parents and sister: Do NOT tell them that!)

Hey, Bro!

The girls are playing “Star Wars Legos” on the Wii, and Big Girl is battling Little Girl in “Duel Mode.” So they are basically killing each other’s little Lego guys.

Suddenly, Big Girl cried out, “Hey…you can’t daze me! Don’t daze me, bro!”

It Looked Lovely, I’m Sure

My parents have a pool with an eight-foot deep end, and the first night we were in Florida, my girls went swimming before dinner.  Big Girl saw that my mother had come out to check on them, and she waved at her and yelled, “Hey, Grandma!  Watch me to a handstand in the deep end!”

She dove under water, then came back after a few moments and cried, “TAH DAH!!!!”

Heard from the Upstairs…

The girls are playing some variation of Bible Scattegories, and I just heard Little Girl ask, “What’s the square root of Jesus?”

Big Girl’s answer?  ”Choir!”

“YES!” yelled Little Girl in response.

Heard While Opening Presents

As she was opening a toughie – the wrapping did NOT want to come off:

“Maybe it’s a little racoon!”

After reading a card encouraging her to grow in God’s richness – a card that contained a $50 bill:

“Grow in richness…like this money here!”

Little Girl cracks me up.

Fat Chance, Buddy-Boy!

Travel Man and I took some online quiz called “How Many Kids Will You Have?” tonight.  My answer came back 6, which is about what we said we probably would have wound up with had I not been such a terrible pregnant woman.  But Travel Man’s answer was 8.  When he told me that, I asked, “Where will you get the other two?”

Calling to mind the session for Great Adventure Bible Study this week (Genesis 25-50), he shot back, “I’m counting on you to get a maidservant.”

Weekends With Will, Part III

We’re into the third Shakespeare play now – “Romeo and Juliet” – and the girls insist that I need to be Juliet to Travel Man’s Romeo.  Who am I to argue?  Every girl wants to be Juliet and do that balcony scene, right?

If you’ve never experienced the love of your life reading those lines to you, ladies, I recommend it highly.  To stray a bit from my straight-laced image (*cough!* HA!), let me say this: it is practically an aphrodisiac!  WHOO!

So, anyhow…

The next time we pick up the play, I say, “Hey, let’s go back and do the balcony scene again before we do the next part.  Okay?”

Big Girl was pretty blunt.  ”Mommy, it’s not all about the balcony scene.  You need to move on.”

[image source]

[the complete works of Shakespeare online, info on the iTunes U Shakespeare units - FREE!]

It Was Need-to-Know, Sweetie!

Big Girl and Little Girl bought Indiana Jones Lego for their Wii, and Big Girl was telling me about the animals that they’ve ridden: a llama, an elephant, a horse, a camel…

I interrupted to say, “Hmm…let me see…I’ve ridden a horse, an elephant, and a camel…”

“WHAT!?” yelled Big Girl.  ”How could you not tell me that?!?“

Mythology and Lousy Produce

After making a full sandwich, a bowl of yogurt, and a big glass of milk for each girl for lunch, only to be told by both that they are hungry:

me: Gosh, you guys are a couple of bottomless pits!

Little Girl:  I’m Tartarus!

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During Bible study, when asked why God might have looked upon Abel’s gift with favor, but not Cain’s.  Big Girl mentioned that the way it’s phrased doesn’t sound like Cain gave his best to God, but Abel did.

Big Girl: It was like he said, “Here, God.  You can have the tomatoes that are kind of squishy.”

Boom, Baby!

I can’t even remember what we were talking about, but Little Girl was saying something about my awesome cooking powers* and finished it off with, “And then…boom!  It’s done.”  Or something to that effect.  Travel Man and I had the exact same reaction at the exact same time.

“Did you just say boom?”

Big, gappy grin.  ”Yeah.  Boom.”

*My awesome cooking powers last night, and the girls said it is the best thing I’ve ever made for them, consisted of two boxes of Kraft Mac and Cheese, one pound of ground beef, and some Italian-style diced tomatoes with a touch of fat-free, mild, shredded cheddar cheese.  This, Big Girl has determined, is the best thing I cook.  Ever.  When I asked, “Ever?  Really?!?” she answered, “Well, except for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners….”  She knows what meals take effort and which don’t.  But she likes the low-effort ones best.   …kids…