Alero Ad Banned for Being Too Awesome!

Last night, Nathan listed his 2003 Olds Alero on Craig’s List, and we’ve already had 3 people inquire about it this morning. At the same time, some people seem to have been threatened by the awesomeness of this listing and flagged it for removal.

While Nathan re-lists the car, I thought I would share his magnificent listing with you.

With that, I present Nathan’s Amazing Craig’s List Ad!

20140523-111110-40270836.jpg

10. Chevys and Hondas are SO mainstream. Why drive something that everyone else is driving?

9. You aren’t made of money and you are not going to inherit an oil company, so you want a fuel efficient car for commuting back and forth to school, work or your secret lair. How does 30+ mpg on the highway grab you?

8. Remember those Oldsmobiles back in the day – the 442 (a luxury GTO for sophisticated enthusiasts) and the Cutlass Supreme (only the best selling name plate in the 70s)? This Alero rides on the coattails of those classics and basically has nothing in common with them. 

7. Manual crank windows. Enough said. 

6. This car dares you to classify it. Sporty? Ok, maybe in a GM mid size clone kind of way. Ok, not really. Oh yeah, then why the sweet spoiler on the trunk? Econobox? Then why all the room AND trunk space? Hmmm? 

5. Aluminum 15″ wheels. Not hubcaps. Try finding 15″ wheels on a car today. My wife’s plain jane minivan has 16″ wheels. Why drive a car with the same size wheels as everybody else?

4. Ecotec 2.2 4 cyl engine. The name alone tells you that Economy and Technology finally met, dated, went through a rough patch, made up, got engaged and joined in marital bliss. This engine is great – super reliable and easy to work on. 

3. ETS. Electronic Traction System. Snow – no problem. Torrential downpour – this car just laughs. Goose droppings – Okay, that’s just gross and I don’t even want to think about it. 

2. Steering wheel cover. Admit it, you know you want a thick, meaty wrapping of fake leather to hang on to as you power through on ramps. 

And the #1 reason – you have a Getrag F23 5 speed manual transmission that you just have to find a home for. And this car is the perfect home because the transmission that is in it is shot. Kaput. DOA. There is not an ounce of resistance when the clutch pedal falls to the floor. Not only will it not go into gear, it doesn’t even know that such a thing as gears exist. 

99% of the parts on this car work, and it’s 11 years old! AC, stereo, trip odometer, dome light, turn signals, horn, emergency brake, wipers, gauges, brakes… A masterpiece of American craftsmanship. And it can be yours for $1000. Maybe less, depending on the alignment of the planets and how long since my last burrito. 

So how cool is that? You tow this sweet ride home, take that transmission out of your closet, bust a few knuckles putting it in and now you have more style, economy and bragging rights than you can handle. Have any of your friends EVER made a Frankenstein car? I think not. 

** For reals, this car cannot be driven. You will need to tow it back to your secret lair and drop a new transmission in the car if you want to drive it. **

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Alero Ad Banned for Being Too Awesome!

  1. So what EXACTLY is wrong with that ad? It’s hilarious and it does truthfully disclose the problems with the car.

    Like

    • He asked in the forums, and someone said he should have listed it in parts, which I disagree with, since it’s just one thing wrong with it. (It even starts!)

      Another couple of people said it was a “joke ad.” This is ridiculous, since it’s a real car, really for sale; the ad merely contains humor, which Nathan pointed out in the forum. (What? We aren’t allowed humor?)

      Another person said it wasn’t right that he waited until the end to say it was broken. I guess spending 1 minute reading the ad is wasted. Whatevs. Party poopers.

      However, Nathan plans on having a disclaimer at the top of any future ads, warning that humor might be involved, in case people don’t like that kind of thing. 😉

      Like

    • The ad mentioned above has prompted our 15 year old to decide to call her grandmother’s car (which she hopes to buy early next year) “Sex Metal.”

      Note: Nathan’s mom drives 2004 Cavalier with crank-’em windows.

      Like

  2. Pingback: Small Success Thursday: Home and School and Blogging | Domestic Vocation

Comments are closed.